如果陪你到最后的那个人不是我，请你一定原谅我 如果陪你到最后的人不是我

如果陪你到最后的那个人不是我，请你一定原谅我

如果陪你到最后的人不是我，请你一定原谅我


作者：故戌
诵读：灰帆
" 如果，陪你走到最后的那个人不是我，请你一定要原谅我，好不好？"

电脑屏幕上弹出他发来的消息，我呆愣着看了很久，对话框下方那两个 " 不好 " 始终不敢发出去。最后时间定格在凌晨2点01分，我回了他的消息。我说：" 好。"

你知道吗，如果我能够预测未来，能够提前预知你不能陪我到最后，那我一定会选择不要遇到你。我不想原谅任何人，也不会原谅任何人，可因为我无权留下你，所以我不敢责怪你。

< 1 >

在结束了我和他9年感情的时候，我突然想起了我们相遇。我们俩是大学同学，第一次见面是在图书馆里找大仲马的书，我比他晚了一步，穿过书架的缝隙看到了那个略微尴尬的男孩儿。那时候他穿着白色体恤，架着黑框眼镜，长相带着浓重的书香气息，一眼就让人有些心动。

经过那次相遇我时常在图书馆里留意他，不负所托，两个人因为喜欢的书差不多很快就热络了起来，之后就顺利的在一起了。

他面如其人，平时是个寡言不多谈的人，我们俩在一起从来没有吵过。他是个软性子，从不和人生气，大事小事都可以随着我做主，我拿捏不出来的时候他也能够准确分析帮我决定。

他在我眼里是能够顶替一切给我依靠的人，而那个时候的我从来没想过，有一天我们会分开。

< 2 >

我们都一样，看了那么多电视小说里的爱恨情仇，最后当那些情节出现在自己生活里的时候，还是无力接受。

我们俩分开最直接的原因是他的家庭不能接受我。我也没有遭受到什么不堪的对待，只是他的母亲为了分开我们把他送到了米国读研，希望距离能够淡化我们的感情。一开始的时候，我们都执着的以为距离是不会瓦解爱情的。可最后，像所有无疾而终的异地恋那样，我们分开了。

去年他母亲找我谈过一次，她直言认为我不能够胜任她的儿媳妇，但因为她儿子是个非常偏执的人，所以不想这段感情给他造成什么创伤。作为过来人，他妈妈经历过两段婚姻，最终说服了我其实是并不适合他儿子的事实。只不过尽管这样，我还是没有办法亲手推开我深爱的人。

< 3 >

后来，我开始试着慢慢疏远。我给自己找各种做不完的工作，让每个我们之间的电话都有无法继续下去的理由，给每条没有及时回复的微信一个合理的借口。

我和他在一起9年，我很清楚应该如何让他放弃我们之间的爱情。我假装爱上别人，我假装对他失去耐心，我假装不愿意再等，假装我从没有爱过他。而这一切都是为了离开那个我根本不想离开的人。

三个月前，他从米国飞回来找我，朋友告诉我他找遍了每个我可能会出现的角落，最后狼狈的被家人带走。有时候我觉得，我可真狠心。不过，每一次为了他难过到不能自已的时候我都会想起他母亲决绝的眼神和不可能的表情。

朋友劝我远走高飞，告诉我爱情就应该不顾一切，可是我做不到。我记得他曾经和我说过，他母亲为了他吃了很多苦，自己最大的心愿是能够好好工作孝顺她。我知道他不会做忤逆者，所以也不愿他夹在中间左右为难。我很清楚，不被父母祝福的爱情，多半是不会幸福的。

< 4 >

坐在电脑前，我翻出了三天前他发来的邮件：

致我最亲爱的满满：

满满，希望这不是我最后一次叫你满满。

上次回国的时候我没有找到你，我想我是明白你的意思了。母亲和我说，她找过你，劝你和我分开，你同意了。因为这件事我和她大吵一架，也在一直埋怨自己。我想，你离开我是对的，要不是因为我无能，处理不好这件事，让你受了这么大的委屈，你也不会如此。

满满，我们已经有9年了，能遇见你真幸运。

其实，我并不想和你分开，可是最近这一年来我看着你在痛苦里挣扎，我感到自己太过自私。我知道婚姻是两个家庭的事情，我也知道我母亲不是容易说服的人，所以我不想再拖累你受苦。满满，我愿意和你分开。

从今天开始，我会努力的成长，我会说服母亲接受你，我会用自己力量再一次把你找回来，但是我不知道自己需要多久，所以你别等我。

如果你遇到了比我好的男人，就幸福的去生活吧。如果，你没有遇到，那就等等我。

满满，希望这不是我最后一次叫你满满，因为我所奢望的最后一次应该是我们白头后我为病床上的你擦手洗脸看着你去世，应该是我含泪要你在黄泉路上等等我，应该是我送你离开这个世界的时候。

满满，如果陪你走到最后的那个人不是我，请你一定要原谅我，好不好？

< 5 >

这封邮件我没有回，因为我可以想象到他写下这封信时的样子，我没有办法做出任何回复。我不知道所有深爱到最后却无疾而终的爱情应该怎么处理，这明明是我要的结果，但我却没有了接受它的能力。

不过我想，时间能够消磨掉我的耐心和感情，也总有一天会把后悔和爱意也都消灭干净吧。我和他之间拥有过最美好的感情，也经历过惨淡的失败。也许，我们再也不会见面，但我一定不会忘记他。

結果 (中文) 3:

If accompany you to the end of that person is not me, you must forgive meIf accompany you to the end of the person is not me, please you must forgive meThe author: XuReading: grey sails"If, accompany you to go to the end of that person is not me, please you must forgive me, OK? "On the computer screen pop up his message, I stayed Leng for a long time, the dialog box below the two "not good" has not been afraid to send out. The last time frames at 2 in the morning 01 points, I returned to his news. I said, "okay.". "You know, if I can predict the future, can predict you can not accompany me to the end, then I will choose not to meet you. I don"t want to forgive anyone, also won"t forgive anyone, but because I have no right to leave you, so I can"t blame you.< 1 >At the end of my 9 years and his feelings, I suddenly remembered that we met. We both are college students, the first meeting was in the library to find Alexandre Dumas"s book, I was a step later than him, through the gap between the shelves to see that a little awkward boy. He was wearing a white T-shirt, then, wearing black rimmed glasses, looks with a strong scholarly atmosphere, a glance to some heart.After the encounter in the library I often pay attention to him, don"t trust, because two people love the book almost quickly growing up, then smoothly together.He is a man like the person, usually not much talk about people, we together never quarrel. He is a soft temper, and never angry people, big and small can be with me when I do not come out he can help me decide accurate analysis.He is able to replace everything for me to rely on people in my eyes, but I never thought that one day we will be apart.< 2 >We are the same, seeing so many TV stories of love and hate, finally when those circumstances appear in their own lives, or inability to accept.The most direct reason why we are apart is that his family can"t accept me. I have not suffered what was treated, but his mother sent him to separate us American Graduate School, hope distance can dilute our feelings. At the beginning, we all think that the distance is not the collapse of love. Finally, like all then we separate the long-distance relationship that.Last year his mother told me about it once, and she thought I could not be competent for her son, but because her son is a very paranoid person, so do not want this feeling to him what trauma. As a man, his mother had two marriages, and finally convinced me that I was not suitable for his son. But in spite of this, I have no way to push myself away from the person I love.< 3 >Later, I began to try to slowly alienated. I am looking for a variety of work to do, so that each of us have a reason to continue the phone can not go on, to each of the WeChat did not respond to a reasonable excuse.I was with him for 9 years, I know how to let him give up the love between us. I pretended to be in love with someone, I pretended to be losing patience with him, I pretended not to wait, pretending that I never loved him. And all this is to leave the person that I do not want to leave.Three months ago, he flew from the U.S. to come back to me, my friend told me he had searched every corner I may be embarrassed by his family away, finally. Sometimes I feel that I can be really cruel. However, every time he was to lose self-control when I think of his mother"s eyes and could not refuse the expression.My friend told me that love should be far away, but I do not fling caution to the winds. I remember him once and I said, his mother for him to eat a lot of pain, his greatest wish is to be able to work well filial piety her. I know he will not do so to disobedience, he caught in the middle in a dilemma. I am very clear, not by the parents of the blessings of love, is not likely to be happy.< 4 >Sitting in front of the computer, I found three days ago he sent mail:To my dearest love:Hope this is not the last time that I call you full.I did not find you the last time I returned home, I think I know what you mean. My mother and I said, she looked for you, advise you and I separate, you agree. Because this thing I have a big fight with her, but also has been complaining about their own. I think, you leave me is right, not because I can"t handle this matter, let you suffer so much injustice, you also won"t so.It"s been 9 years since we met you, so lucky to meet you.In fact, I do not want to be separated from you, but the last year I looked at you in the pain of struggling, I feel too selfish. I know that marriage is the two family thing, I also know that my mother is not easy to convince people, so I do not want to drag you down. Full, I would like to be separated from you.From today on, I will work hard to grow, I will persuade my mother to accept you, I will use my strength again to find you back, but I do not know how long it takes, so you do not wait for me.If you meet a man who is better than me, be happy. If you haven"t met, wait for me.Full of hope, this is not the last time I called you up, because I hope the last time should be after the death of our Whitehead I looked at the bed you wash your hands, I want to be in tears