The point of asking how love can be freed from its long imprisonment by vain and unreal expectations is not to downgrade it to something lukewarm like tender care or benevolent empathy, but, on the contrary, to reach a more successful understanding of this supreme emotion and its place in a well-lived life. My overall theme is that, especially in a secular age, we should model human love not on how God is said to love us but on how we are commanded to love God.