A wise man was visiting a village with his students. He found a group of family members shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his students and asked: “Why do people shout in anger at each other?”
His students thought for a while, and one of them said: “Because when we lose our calm, we shout.”
“But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can just as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner,” said the wise man.
Students gave some other answers but none were any good.
“When two people are angry at each other, their hearts become distanced,” the wise man explained. “To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the louder they will have to shout to hear each other and cover that great distance.”
The wise man then gave an example: “What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly because their hearts are very close. When they love each other even more, what happens? They don’t need to talk. They only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.”
He looked at his students and said: “So when you argue, do not let your hearts get distant. Do not say words that distance you from others. Otherwise, there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.”