Jim glanced up when the bridge door slid open, and sighed in resignation when Bones still wasn't there. Three days ago, they left Deep Space Six for the asteroid belt. They were nearly there. And he still hadn't talked to Bones.
He'd tried. The first day out, he'd found Bones in the mess once shift was over, sitting with Spock. Bones looked uncomfortable, and Spock was saying little. Jim figured it was his best chance to apologize, and made his way to the table. Spock had gestured for him to sit, while Bones just asked if "there was something the Captain needed from his CMO". Those words had been a punch to the gut. That meal was the tensest meal they'd shared since Academy days. Bones ignored the both of them as he ate his food, not even answering direct questions.
The situation was not improving, either. Since that disastrous supper, Bones hadn't said a word to him outside of an official capacity. He hadn't set foot on the bridge. Jim's visits to Sickbay were ignored, for the most part, Bones keeping himself busy with actual patients, or paperwork. Jim might as well be invisible.
Jim knew he hurt his friend, seriously hurt him. He should have supported Bones, but he'd panicked. Bones was the first person Jim had been able to count on in a long time. No one, and he really meant no one, had ever stuck with him for four, nearly five years. The longest relationship he'd had, of any time, had only lasted two months. He just couldn't lose his Bones.
He was worried about this. Sure, he and Bones had fought before, but it never lasted this long. It was starting to affect more than just them. Spock had commented on it at lunch just a few hours ago. And Jim had seen it for himself. The main crew was noticing the strain, and reacting to it.
Jim could see that they were torn, especially those who were friends of both of them. Jim honestly wasn't sure he could take much more of Chekov's lost expressions. The ensign looked like the kid trying to figure out how to get mommy and daddy to stop fighting. Sulu just looked at Jim like he'd better fix whatever he'd done wrong.
That was the whole of the problem, right there. Jim wanted to apologize. He wanted to find a way to make things right with Bones. But hard as it would be to do so, Bones was making it impossible by not talking to him at all.
The chime signaling shift change sounded and Jim handed the bridge over to Lieutenant Robertson with relief. He needed to get out of the stifling tension that had settled on the bridge. He nearly jogged to the turbo lift in his haste to get away. Je was joined by Spock before the doors could close.
"Captain, I—"
"I see you've been spending more time with Bones. That's good."
"Indeed. I am on my way to meet him now. Would you care to join us for dinner?"
"Thanks, but no. I wouldn't want to intrude on date night again."
The attempt at humor fell flat, and Jim fell silent. Spock looked at the human in the small space with him, whose emotions were projecting so clearly.
"Our dinner could hardly be termed a 'date', Captain. He barely speaks to me. And he is afraid of me. I am certain that if I allowed it, he would continue to avoid me as he did before. It would be no intrusion if you joined us."
"I appreciate that, Spock. But he wouldn't want me there."
He ignored the painful constricting in his chest that just admitting that fact verbally caused. It was his own fault. He couldn't blame anyone else for the rift.
"And if he's even marginally better with you, I don't want to mess that up."
"To believe that he is better with me is what I understand you humans would call wishful thinking."
"I really messed this one up, Spock."
There was little Spock could say in reply to that, so he kept silent. The lift stopped on the deck for their quarters and the doors opened.
"Are you not coming to dinner, Captain?"
Jim shook his head as he stepped off.
"I'll have dinner in my quarters. I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on. I'll see you in the morning, Commander."
"Cap—Jim."
Jim stopped at Spock's use of his given name.
"I know that this is hurting him as well. You must not give up.