Although these styles are prevalent

Although these styles are prevalent in relationships, I have also experienced couples who claim poor communication even though they communicate quite clearly; these partners just don’t like what they are hearing. No matter how well the message is conveyed, it will not be processed in a positive, productive manner and the relational dynamic soon morphs into a control struggle between partners. For example, Sally made it quite clear that she would like her husband Tim to work less and to spend more time with her and their children. Although she delivered this message calmly and clearly to Tim, he angrily pressed her to be more specific. When the dust settled, it was evident that Tim did not really need specifics; he heard Sally, but he simply did not “want” to work less. He felt the burden to make as much money as possible to support his family in the style to which they have been accustomed. Oftentimes as in this caser our sensitivities are anchored in our families of origin: Sally was a middle sibling of nine who never felt heard or paid attention to; Tim was from a poor, uneducated family who evoked shame in him.

結果 (繁體中文) 2:

雖然這些風格在人際關係中很普遍，但我也有過一些夫婦，他們聲稱溝通不暢，即使他們溝通得很清楚;這些合作夥伴只是不喜歡他們聽到的。無論資訊傳達得多麼好，它將不會以積極、富有成效的方式得到處理，關係動態很快會演變成合作夥伴之間的控制鬥爭。例如，Sally 明確表示，她希望她的丈夫蒂姆少工作，多花些時間陪她和孩子在一起。雖然她平靜而清楚地向蒂姆傳達了這一資訊，但他憤怒地催促她要更加具體。當塵埃落定，很明顯，蒂姆並不需要細節;他聽到薩莉，但他根本不"想"少工作。他感到有責任盡可能多地賺錢，以他們習慣的風格養家糊口。通常，在這個案例中，我們的敏感點植根于我們的原籍家庭：莎莉是九歲的中兄弟，從未感到被聽到或關注過;蒂姆來自一個貧窮的、沒有受過教育的家庭，他感到羞愧。

結果 (繁體中文) 3:

儘管這些風格在人際關係中很普遍，但我也曾有過這樣的經歷：儘管他們的交流很清楚，但他們聲稱溝通不暢；這些伴侶只是不喜歡他們聽到的。不管資訊傳達得有多好，它都不會以積極、高效的管道進行處理，關係動態很快就會演變成夥伴之間的控制鬥爭。例如，莎莉明確表示，她希望丈夫蒂姆少工作，多陪陪自己和孩子。儘管她平靜而清晰地向蒂姆傳達了這一資訊，但他憤怒地要求她說得更具體一些。當事情塵埃落定時，很明顯蒂姆並不真正需要具體的細節；他聽到了薩利的話，但他只是不“想”少工作。他感到有責任盡可能多地掙錢，以他們習慣的管道養家糊口。在這個案例中，我們的敏感點常常植根於我們的出身家庭：薩利是一個九歲的中兄弟，從來沒有人聽過或關注過他；蒂姆來自一個貧窮的、沒有受過教育的家庭，他給他帶來了耻辱。