So goes the first caveat; it adds needed complexity. Some of love’s acts are required by the norms of an antecedent friendship, some come as gratuitous favor, and in each instance the endurance delivered can surpass what tolerance provides in both range and object.19 The second offers a necessary denial: the distinction that divides tolerance from forbearance does not depend upon whatever it is that divides public and private relationships. Rather, the tolerance-forbearance distinction cuts across the latter and depends instead upon the distinction that divides relationships that have friendship-like qualities from those that do not.