Rather, he deserves tolerance because he deserves autonomy in this, and he can’t have autonomy in this unless those with whom he shares his life are willing to suffer some of his objectionable choices. If the music he loves causes him harm along the way, well, I will have to trust that other choices will diminish its effects, some of them his, some of them mine. At the very least, I doubt that he will deliberate well and choose wisely, either in this setting or in others more weighty, if I deny him experience in choosing in these lighter venues.So he chooses the music that he likes, while I, disliking what he chooses, tolerate what I hear as best I can. I can^ be indifferent. The music is terrible and possibly harmful. I suppose I could try to sympathize with what I despise. There may be something sublime and important in this music, something that he hears and that I don5t. If taking him seriously is a portion of what I owe, and if my tolerance is an expression of my valuing and respecting our relationship, then this effort to understand must surely accompany my endurance.24