After I was married and had lived i

After I was married and had lived in Japan for a while, my Japanese gradually improved to the point where I could take part in simple conversations with my husband, his friends, and family. And I began to notice that often, when I joined in, the others would look startled, and the conversation would come to a halt. After this happened several times, it became clear to me that I was doing something wrong. But for a long time, I didn't know what it was.
Finally, after listening carefully to many Japanese conversations, I discovered what my problem was. Even though I was speaking Japanese, I was handling the conversation in a Western way.
Japanese-style conversations develop quite differently from western-style conversations. And the difference isn't only in the languages. I realized that just as I kept trying to hold western-style conversations even when I was speaking Japanese, so were my English students trying to hold Japanese-style conversations even when they were speaking English. We were unconsciously playing entirely9 different conversational ballgames.
A western-style conversation between two people is like a game of tennis. If I introduce a topic, a conversational ball, I expect you to hit it back. If you agree with me, I don't expect you simply to agree and do nothing more. I expect you to add something — a reason for agreeing, another example, or a remark to carry the idea further. But I don't expect you always to agree. I am just as happy if you question me, or challenge me, or completely disagree with me. Whether you agree or disagree, your response will return the ball to me.
And then it is my turn again. I don't serve a new ball from my original starting line. I hit your ball back again from where it has bounced. I carry your idea further, or answer your questions or objections, or challenge or question you. And so the ball goes back and forth10.
If there are more than two people in the conversation, then it is like doubles in tennis, or like volleyball. There's no waiting in line. Whoever is nearest and quickest hits the ball, and if you step back, someone else will hit it. No one stops the game to give you a turn. You're responsible for taking your own turn and no one person has the ball for very long.
A Japanese-style conversation, however, is not at all like tennis or volleyball, it's like bowling. You wait for your turn, and you always know your place in line. It depends on such things as whether you are older or younger, a close friend or a relative stranger to the previous speaker, in a senior or junior position, and so on.
The first thing is to wait for your turn, patiently and politely. When your moment comes, you step up to the starting line with your bowling ball, and carefully bowl it. Everyone else stands back, making sounds of polite encouragement. Everyone waits until your ball has reached the end of the lane, and watches to see if it knocks down all the pins, or only some of them, or none of them. Then there is a pause, while everyone registers your score.
Then, after everyone is sure that you are done, the next person in line steps up to the same starting line, with a different ball. He doesn't return your ball. There is no back and forth at all. And there is always a suitable pause between turns. There is no rush, no impatience11.
No wonder everyone looked startled when I took part in Japanese conversations. I paid no attention to whose turn it was, and kept snatching the ball halfway12 down the alley13 and throwing it back at the bowler14. Of course the conversation fell apart, I was playing the wrong game.

結果 (中文) 1:

我结了婚，并曾在日本住了一段后，我的日语逐渐提高到点在哪里我可以参加简单的对话与我的丈夫、 他的朋友和家人。我开始注意，通常情况下，当我加入了，别人会看吓了一跳，和谈话会来到一个停顿。后这发生过几次，显然，我认为我做错了。但在很长的时间，不知道它是什么。最后后仔细听很多日本的谈话，, 我发现我的问题是什么。即使我说日语，我在西方的方式处理谈话。日本式的谈话从西式的对话相当不同的发展。差异并不是只有在这种语言。我意识到，正如我一直想举行西式的交谈，甚至当我日语，所以我英语的学生正在举行日本式的谈话，甚至当他们说英语。我们不自觉地被玩 entirely9 不同会话球类活动。两人之间的西式的谈话就像一场网球。如果引入了一个话题，一个会话的球，想要反击。如果你同意和我一起，我不期望你仅仅同意和什么都不做更多。我希望你能添加的东西 — — 理由同意、 另一个例子或评论进行进一步的想法。但我不希望你总是同意。如果你问我，要挑战我，或者完全不同意我，我还是一样开心。是否你同意还是不同意，你的反应将返回球给我。然后再轮到我了。一个新的球不奉我原来的起跑线。你的击球再次回来，在那里它已经反弹。我进行进一步，将你的想法或回答您的问题或反对，或挑战或质疑你。所以球可追溯和 forth10。如果对话中有两个以上的人，就像在打网球，双打或喜欢排球。有是没有排队等候。谁是最近和最快的速度击中球，如果你后退一步，别人会打它。没有人会停止游戏给你转。你是负责采取轮到你自己，没有一个人有很长时间的球。日本式的谈话，但是，根本不是像网球、 排球、 就像保龄球一样。你等待轮到你，和你总是知道你的位置。它取决于诸如你是否年长或年幼的、 亲密的朋友或前面的发言者，相对陌生的高级或初级的位置，依此类推。第一件事是要耐心和礼貌地等待轮到你。当你的时刻来临时，你与你的保龄球球到起跑线加强和仔细碗它。其他人站在后面，发出声音的有礼貌的鼓励。每个人都一直等待，直到你的球已经达到了车道，年底和手表，看看是否它击倒所有的针，或只有一些人，他们都不。然后是一个停顿，虽然每个人都注册你的分数。然后，每个人都确信你做后，线的下一个人步骤到同一起跑线上，用不同的球。他不会返回你的球。那里根本没有来来回回。还有总是之间轮流的适当停顿。不急，是没有 impatience11。难怪每个人都显得很吃惊时参加日语会话的一部分。我没有注意到轮到谁，也被不断抢球 halfway12 下 alley13 和 bowler14 在把它扔回去。当然谈话土崩瓦解，打错了游戏。

結果 (中文) 3:

在我结婚并在日本住了一段时间后，我的日语逐渐改善，我可以参加简单的谈话与我的丈夫，他的朋友和家庭的一部分。我开始注意到，当我加入的时候，其他人会看起来很惊讶，谈话会停止。发生了几次后，我很清楚，我做了什么错误的事情。但很长一段时间，我不知道它是什么。最后，在仔细听了许多日语对话后，我发现了我的问题是什么。尽管我说的是日语，但我还是用西方的方式来处理这一话题。日本式谈话的发展完全不同于西式的对话。而且差异不仅在语言中。我意识到，我一直想举行西式的对话，甚至当我说日语，所以我的英语学生试图将日本式的谈话甚至当他们说英语。我们在不知不觉中玩entirely9不同会话比赛。两人之间一种西式的谈话就像一场网球。如果我介绍一个主题，一个对话的球，我希望你打回来。如果你同意我的话，我不认为你只是同意，什么都不做。我希望你增加一些东西-一个同意的理由，另一个例子，或一句话来进一步的想法。但我不希望你总是同意。如果你质疑我，或者挑战我，或者完全不同意我的观点，我就很高兴了。无论你是否同意或不同意，你的回答都会把球传给我。然后是我的又一次。我没有从我的原始起跑线的一个新球。我把你的球从它反弹回来的地方。我进一步提出你的想法，或回答你的问题或反对，或挑战或质疑你。所以球回去forth10。如果在谈话中有两个人，那么它就像是网球双打，或喜欢排球。没有排队等候。无论谁是最接近和最快的击球，如果你退后一步，其他人会击中它。没有人停止游戏给你一个转弯。你负责自己的转弯，没有一个人有很长的球。然而，一个日本式的谈话，一点都不喜欢网球或排球，就像打保龄球一样。你等待轮到你，你总是知道你的位置在一线。这取决于你是否是老年人或年轻人，一个亲密的朋友或是一个对以前的演讲人的一个陌生人，在一个高级或初级位置，等等。第一件事是耐心地、有礼貌地等待轮到你。当你的时刻来临时，你要站到起跑线与你的保龄球，并仔细碗它。其他人都站起来，发出礼貌的鼓励的声音。每个人都在等待，直到你的球已经到达了尽头的车道，和手表，看看它是否撞倒了所有的针，或只有一些他们，或没有他们。然后有一个暂停，而每个人都注册你的分数。然后，在每个人都肯定你是做的，下一个人在排队的步骤到相同的起跑线，用不同的球。他不回你的球。没有来回的在所有。并且总是有一个合适的停顿之间的停顿。没有匆忙，没有impatience11。难怪当我参加日语对话时，每个人都显得很惊讶。我没有注意到该轮到谁了，把抢球halfway12下alley13扔回到bowler14。当然，谈话破裂了，我玩的是错误的游戏。